1 00:00:00,301 --> 00:00:03,099 Being in med school is kind of like being in basic training. 2 00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:05,332 And the professors are like drill sergeants. 3 00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:07,136 Some rule with an iron fist. 4 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:11,133 Do you feel the spit raining down on your face, maggot? 5 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:15,308 And will you ever forget the excessive production of saliva 6 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:18,341 is a condition known as sialorrhea? 7 00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:20,047 Sialorrhea! 8 00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:21,145 Sir, no, sir! 9 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,621 Others carry a big stick. 10 00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,851 You want to become a doctor? 11 00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:27,951 Well, you're gonna have to work. 12 00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:29,860 Work your little scrubs off. 13 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,728 Is this the speech from Fame? 14 00:00:31,766 --> 00:00:35,293 You want fame? Well, fame costs. 15 00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:39,397 Our only hope for getting through it? Teamwork. 16 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,500 Unfortunately, we all just looked out for ourselves. 17 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:43,970 Cole, I need the retractor. 18 00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:45,672 - I'm using it right now. - Seriously? 19 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:48,739 Yeah, I don't like touching bread. Creeps me out. 20 00:00:48,783 --> 00:00:51,479 - Give him the stupid retractor. - What? 21 00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:52,816 Give me my sandwich. 22 00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,016 Who did this? 23 00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:10,493 If you wanna keep sleeping with me, I expect you to have my back. 24 00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,699 God, you've got so many rules. 25 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:15,106 Get your back, listen to you when you talk, 26 00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:16,609 stay out of your purse. 27 00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:19,238 Damn, girl, quit playing games. 28 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,838 At least the weekend was coming. 29 00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,645 We needed some fun, and Cole was throwing a party. 30 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:24,843 Fame. 31 00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:26,750 This weekend was gonna be amazing. 32 00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:29,813 I was spending it with the love of my life. 33 00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:32,121 - Elliot gone? - Gone. Carla? 34 00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:33,990 Long gone and took the kids. 35 00:01:34,028 --> 00:01:37,020 Nice! Bro-A-Palooza has officially begun. 36 00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:38,964 We're not calling it Bro-A-Palooza. 37 00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:40,523 Why not? I already made T-shirts. 38 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,092 That's awesome. Where's mine? 39 00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:43,660 This is yours! 40 00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:48,634 I've decided to no longer refer to you two as pathetic. 41 00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:49,700 Thanks, Perry. 42 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,870 Instead, since my nephew gave me 43 00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:54,540 my very first thesaurus as a birthday present, 44 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:57,949 I'm going to allow you to choose from the following, if you will. 45 00:01:57,985 --> 00:02:03,389 "Miserable, pitiful, sorry, wretched, deplorable, regrettable or sad." 46 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:06,154 "Wretched" sounds like Dickens. We'll go with "wretched." 47 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:09,390 No, it's just Old Man doesn't understand two young guns 48 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:11,725 Out on the town. 49 00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,699 He doesn't get Bro-A-Palooza. 50 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,735 8:00 p.m. To question mark. 51 00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,669 That means we don't even know when it ends. 52 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:20,196 So many things to tear apart here. 53 00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:23,836 I'll focus on your delusion that you are still young. 54 00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:26,642 You're both much closer to 40 than you are 20. 55 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,342 Let's face it, you're just like me. 56 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,874 Old, tired and you gotta get up a lot at night to take a pee. 57 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:32,977 Is he psychic? 58 00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:36,478 Hey, Field Hockey, your med students are acting like animals. 59 00:02:38,893 --> 00:02:41,361 You think licking will stop me? I've eaten out of dumpsters. 60 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:42,885 - They're not my med students. - They are, 61 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,091 because you are their faculty advisor. 62 00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:48,590 You will advise them to start working together like a team. 63 00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:52,436 And even more importantly, you will teach them to never, 64 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:56,341 ever again lay their grubby paws on my glazed donut. 65 00:02:56,377 --> 00:03:00,507 It is the one sprinkled, sugary beacon of light left in my life. 66 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,648 - But they're not my students. - Actually, they are. 67 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,153 Because you're their faculty student advisor. 68 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,918 So you will advise them that if they wanna get through med school, 69 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,049 they have to work together. 70 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:14,583 And don't touch donuts, they're beacons of light. Or whatever. 71 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,391 When did I become the student advisor? 72 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:17,954 When you slept with the faculty advisor. 73 00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:19,522 Your mom's the faculty advisor? 74 00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,831 Joke's on you, my mom's dead. 75 00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:23,329 Really? 76 00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:25,629 - Yeah, you guys coming to my party? - Yes. 77 00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,538 I cannot wait to wear a dress 78 00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,440 and have a reason to actually shave again. 79 00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:32,138 It is like the friggin' Amazon down there. 80 00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:34,613 Too far, too far. Too far. 81 00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:37,549 Gonna be nuts to butts up in that piece. Big ol' wrangle-dangle. 82 00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:40,679 Yeah, you're making it sound horrible, but I'm still gonna go. 83 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:41,813 I need to have some fun. 84 00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:44,153 I've spent the last three weekends finishing up community service. 85 00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,457 Hey, I'm sorry. I was under the impression 86 00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,586 you'd all be much younger. 87 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:52,225 Turns out dinosaur costumes are extremely flammable. 88 00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:56,726 I think we all need to let loose, and, in my case, let Lucy. 89 00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:00,831 Oh. 90 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,438 Hello, murderers, butchers, slaughterers, slayers. 91 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:05,672 I love this thing. 92 00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:08,409 - Did you hear that I was quitting? - I did, Ted. 93 00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:11,384 I just haven't really figured out how to pretend I care yet. 94 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,442 Understandable. 95 00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,351 Theodore, I always assumed that someday 96 00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,481 we'd just find you dead in your office. 97 00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:18,616 Yeah, that was the dream. 98 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:23,162 But the Gooch and I are gonna take some time off and tour the country. 99 00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:24,858 We've written a song for every state. 100 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:27,731 I'm sure I'll hear all of them when I die and go to hell. 101 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,794 Damn elevator. 102 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:34,633 Alabama 103 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:35,869 They wear pajamas 104 00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,035 They eat their ham-a 105 00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,271 So bring your camera 106 00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:41,645 To Alabama 107 00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:44,408 Arkansas 108 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,577 The dogs have paws 109 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,745 The states have laws 110 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,015 The girls wear bras 111 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:52,116 Depending on the weather 112 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,421 I'm out. 113 00:05:17,013 --> 00:05:19,208 Phase one of Bro-A-Palooza starts now. 114 00:05:19,248 --> 00:05:20,738 I'm making quesadillas. 115 00:05:20,783 --> 00:05:22,808 - Pepper jack? - Who are you talking to? 116 00:05:26,989 --> 00:05:28,479 Oh. 117 00:05:28,524 --> 00:05:30,287 I see with your wives out of town, 118 00:05:30,326 --> 00:05:32,453 you've whipped yourselves into a lesbian frenzy. 119 00:05:32,495 --> 00:05:34,588 What, do I need to get a garden hose to separate you two? 120 00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:36,962 You can't separate us. We're attached by fun. 121 00:05:36,999 --> 00:05:38,523 And tonight's gonna be awesome. 122 00:05:38,568 --> 00:05:40,763 He just fell from the ceiling. We're not gonna address that? 123 00:05:40,803 --> 00:05:44,170 Your Loser-Palooza is embarrassing. And I'll be honest with you, 124 00:05:44,207 --> 00:05:46,505 I would've assumed that two "hip" young guys 125 00:05:46,542 --> 00:05:49,807 such as yourselves would be headed to the big med school party. 126 00:05:49,846 --> 00:05:52,076 There's a party? What's the theme? 127 00:05:52,114 --> 00:05:54,776 Murder-mystery? Disco? Star Wars? 128 00:05:54,817 --> 00:05:57,980 Sixties? Seventies? Eighties? Nineties? The future? 129 00:05:58,020 --> 00:06:00,045 Please say it's a Star Wars themed murder-mystery 130 00:06:00,089 --> 00:06:01,420 set in the Roaring Twenties. 131 00:06:01,457 --> 00:06:03,891 The theme is cowboys and Indians. 132 00:06:04,227 --> 00:06:06,491 Yes. We are there. 133 00:06:06,529 --> 00:06:07,553 Cowboys and Indians? 134 00:06:07,597 --> 00:06:10,464 Not my first choice, but I do have chaps. 135 00:06:10,766 --> 00:06:12,199 I'm liking my new dress. 136 00:06:12,235 --> 00:06:15,398 - It makes my boobs look even. - Okay. 137 00:06:15,438 --> 00:06:18,168 I am getting so much better at making friends. 138 00:06:18,207 --> 00:06:21,199 Boom, looks like the bassist and drummer from Nickelback 139 00:06:21,244 --> 00:06:23,405 are rolling through the party. Acoustic set, yo. 140 00:06:23,446 --> 00:06:25,004 Please tell me some of your super-solid bros 141 00:06:25,047 --> 00:06:28,073 - from prep school will be there. - Topher and Boots are en route. 142 00:06:28,117 --> 00:06:30,642 Where's everyone going? Nice dress. Your boobs look weird. 143 00:06:30,686 --> 00:06:32,654 - Not from up here. - Going to my party. 144 00:06:32,688 --> 00:06:33,780 That's not happening. 145 00:06:33,823 --> 00:06:36,485 Tonight we're trying a little exercise in team building. 146 00:06:36,525 --> 00:06:38,390 No one leaves until you take final interviews 147 00:06:38,427 --> 00:06:40,258 from the four terminal patients on this floor. 148 00:06:40,296 --> 00:06:41,490 What's a final interview? 149 00:06:41,530 --> 00:06:43,259 It's a chance for old dying people to bore you 150 00:06:43,299 --> 00:06:44,630 with their life story before they kick it. 151 00:06:44,667 --> 00:06:47,067 No, Denise. Have some respect. 152 00:06:47,436 --> 00:06:49,927 A final interview isn't some inconsequential thing 153 00:06:49,972 --> 00:06:51,234 a med student can just blow through. 154 00:06:51,274 --> 00:06:52,764 It actually really matters. 155 00:06:52,808 --> 00:06:54,673 Now hold my pepper jack, please. 156 00:06:54,710 --> 00:06:56,234 Come with me, children. 157 00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:59,646 Hold it like a baby bird, Denise. Pepper J bruises. 158 00:07:00,383 --> 00:07:03,284 You have the sacred privilege of being with someone 159 00:07:03,319 --> 00:07:06,880 and recording their precious memories as they prepare to die. 160 00:07:06,923 --> 00:07:08,288 I'm dying? 161 00:07:09,358 --> 00:07:12,020 No, not dying. Just tonsillitis. 162 00:07:12,061 --> 00:07:14,928 So you get to gargle. Gargle, gargle. 163 00:07:15,865 --> 00:07:18,732 - Why would you let me go in there? - Why would I stop you? 164 00:07:18,768 --> 00:07:20,702 - This is good cheese. - Get off my cheese! 165 00:07:20,736 --> 00:07:23,967 How long do final interviews with actual dying people take? 166 00:07:26,342 --> 00:07:28,139 If you work together, it'll go faster. 167 00:07:28,177 --> 00:07:32,011 But let me make this very clear, no one leaves until you're all done. 168 00:07:32,048 --> 00:07:34,039 All done or none done. 169 00:07:34,750 --> 00:07:37,514 Damn. Boots is gonna be pissed. 170 00:07:38,554 --> 00:07:40,351 And the last state is Wyoming 171 00:07:40,389 --> 00:07:42,186 Lots of wigs to be combing 172 00:07:42,224 --> 00:07:43,816 And the buffalo are roaming 173 00:07:43,859 --> 00:07:45,622 No Jews to be shalom-ing 174 00:07:45,661 --> 00:07:50,155 In the great state of Wyoming 175 00:07:50,199 --> 00:07:52,258 You have the voice of an angel. 176 00:07:52,301 --> 00:07:53,495 - Thank you. - Thank you, sir. 177 00:07:53,536 --> 00:07:54,867 Not you, Ted. 178 00:07:54,904 --> 00:07:58,135 If I were 10 years younger and you were 10 years younger... 179 00:07:58,174 --> 00:08:01,439 It's too late, sir, I've already tapped it. 180 00:08:01,477 --> 00:08:02,569 Ted Buckland. 181 00:08:02,611 --> 00:08:05,045 I'm sorry, he brings it out of me. 182 00:08:05,081 --> 00:08:08,346 It's okay. I didn't always treat Teddy very well. 183 00:08:08,384 --> 00:08:12,184 Say, how about we do a last night out on the town? 184 00:08:12,221 --> 00:08:13,950 Let me give you a proper send-off. 185 00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:16,117 That would mean a lot, sir. 186 00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:19,450 - Ted! - I'm sorry, it's him. 187 00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:22,561 It's not. It's me. 188 00:08:23,699 --> 00:08:25,064 An Indian wouldn't wear chaps. 189 00:08:25,101 --> 00:08:26,193 You're forgetting my back story. 190 00:08:26,235 --> 00:08:29,932 I killed the cowboy then took his chaps. I'm also a sheriff. 191 00:08:32,408 --> 00:08:33,932 It's not a theme party, is it? 192 00:08:33,976 --> 00:08:37,036 No, but thank you for the great early birthday present. 193 00:08:37,079 --> 00:08:38,137 Say "cheese." 194 00:08:39,582 --> 00:08:42,881 - Well done, girls. - To hell with it. I'm going in. 195 00:08:43,986 --> 00:08:46,216 Maybe no one'll notice. Let's just try and blend in. 196 00:08:47,857 --> 00:08:50,451 Black cowboy? Son, what are you doing? 197 00:08:50,493 --> 00:08:52,688 Me? He's the Indian wearing chaps. 198 00:08:52,728 --> 00:08:53,922 When it works, it works. 199 00:08:53,963 --> 00:08:55,590 I'm also a sheriff. 200 00:08:55,631 --> 00:08:57,030 What are you guys doing here, anyway? 201 00:08:57,066 --> 00:08:58,363 Picking up some extra cash. 202 00:08:58,401 --> 00:09:00,665 We do bar security, bouncy-house rentals. 203 00:09:00,703 --> 00:09:03,467 - We got a line of... - We have a line of homemade salsa. 204 00:09:03,506 --> 00:09:06,771 Shut your face, Frank. I was gonna tell them about the salsas. 205 00:09:06,809 --> 00:09:09,175 - Copy that. - I don't have you guys on the list. 206 00:09:09,211 --> 00:09:12,442 It's probably under D, for Dr. D, or, 207 00:09:12,481 --> 00:09:15,211 maybe Dr. Dizzle, perhaps D to the lzzle. 208 00:09:15,251 --> 00:09:17,481 - Oh, here. We have a D. Izzle. - That's probably it. 209 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:18,748 I'm Dave lzzle. 210 00:09:21,524 --> 00:09:23,890 Hey! It's Special K. How it is? 211 00:09:23,926 --> 00:09:28,886 Melvis, Frank. Listen, that salsa was in-frickin'-sane. 212 00:09:29,165 --> 00:09:30,393 These are my plus two. 213 00:09:30,433 --> 00:09:32,663 Dr. Kelso, do you think you could hook us up, too? 214 00:09:32,701 --> 00:09:34,498 You're gonna have to ask Ted about that, 215 00:09:34,537 --> 00:09:36,835 because this is Ted's night. 216 00:09:36,872 --> 00:09:39,102 - Ted? - I'm going to say yes, 217 00:09:39,141 --> 00:09:42,338 but I've never had this kind of power before, 218 00:09:42,378 --> 00:09:44,778 so I'm going to milk it, okay? 219 00:09:44,814 --> 00:09:48,341 - Go ahead. Do your thing. - I mean, you gotta... You... 220 00:09:52,621 --> 00:09:54,145 Let it be so! 221 00:09:55,157 --> 00:09:56,454 Amen. 222 00:09:56,826 --> 00:10:01,126 We have to ask them 25 questions? This is gonna take forever. 223 00:10:01,163 --> 00:10:03,290 Hey, no problem, Luce, it's just... 224 00:10:03,332 --> 00:10:05,892 The final interview 225 00:10:09,572 --> 00:10:12,370 Man, I just thought of that. 226 00:10:12,408 --> 00:10:14,672 Damn, I'm gonna be a good doctor. 227 00:10:14,710 --> 00:10:16,541 Look, we'll split up the patients, okay? 228 00:10:16,579 --> 00:10:20,242 It'll be quick and easy, and then we can get to Cole's party. 229 00:10:23,652 --> 00:10:25,483 - Done. - Done. 230 00:10:25,788 --> 00:10:27,949 Super-done. My dude is dead. 231 00:10:32,261 --> 00:10:35,628 Peace, I gotta go drown my sorrows with a Jagerbomb. 232 00:10:35,664 --> 00:10:37,154 Where's Lucy? 233 00:10:38,033 --> 00:10:41,059 Um... What is your birth date? 234 00:10:41,937 --> 00:10:46,101 Probably just find that in the chart. How about, are you married? 235 00:10:47,776 --> 00:10:48,936 Okay. 236 00:10:50,312 --> 00:10:53,873 Do you think that when bears hibernate they have super-long dreams? 237 00:10:53,916 --> 00:10:55,508 - What? - You spoke. 238 00:10:55,551 --> 00:10:57,678 I got you. Now you owe me an answer. 239 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:01,121 You know, tit for tat, which, by the way, is a horrible expression. 240 00:11:01,157 --> 00:11:03,148 It sounds pornographic. 241 00:11:03,192 --> 00:11:04,250 Listen, girlie, 242 00:11:04,293 --> 00:11:05,453 I'm not interested in answering 243 00:11:05,494 --> 00:11:07,655 a bunch of stupid questions off of a form, 244 00:11:07,696 --> 00:11:10,494 so why don't you just leave me the hell alone? 245 00:11:10,533 --> 00:11:11,727 Great. 246 00:11:13,068 --> 00:11:16,299 Well, I guess it's time for a little goodbye toast. 247 00:11:16,338 --> 00:11:19,068 I'm not really much of a toast guy. 248 00:11:19,108 --> 00:11:23,977 A fond farewell to that skanky blonde heading out the door. 249 00:11:24,013 --> 00:11:26,675 I'm gonna see what other chickens are in the coop. 250 00:11:26,715 --> 00:11:28,410 Aw. 251 00:11:32,755 --> 00:11:34,586 Eleven seconds. You beat your record. 252 00:11:34,623 --> 00:11:36,818 Whoo! I'm spinning. 253 00:11:36,859 --> 00:11:39,726 Maybe next time you should try it with alcohol instead of soda. 254 00:11:39,762 --> 00:11:41,696 Don't be insane. This is awesome. 255 00:11:41,730 --> 00:11:44,995 - Yeah, it is. We're letting them know. - True dat. 256 00:11:45,334 --> 00:11:47,802 Who and what are we letting know? 257 00:11:48,737 --> 00:11:49,863 Mine won't talk. 258 00:11:49,905 --> 00:11:52,738 He wasn't even intrigued by my bear-hibernation question. 259 00:11:52,775 --> 00:11:55,039 For the last time, they don't dream and nobody cares. 260 00:11:55,077 --> 00:11:56,806 They do and everybody cares. 261 00:11:56,845 --> 00:11:59,814 I'm sorry about your party, but I was very clear. 262 00:11:59,848 --> 00:12:01,907 All done or none done. 263 00:12:02,985 --> 00:12:05,453 Hey, guys, my patient just died, 264 00:12:05,487 --> 00:12:08,320 I'm feeling a little too upset to keep working. 265 00:12:08,357 --> 00:12:10,416 Really? What was his name? 266 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:14,555 Look, I can't do this right now, Drew. I'm hurting. 267 00:12:17,233 --> 00:12:18,962 You're really gonna leave us? 268 00:12:19,001 --> 00:12:21,435 I don't know if you can see how much my soul dies 269 00:12:21,470 --> 00:12:23,267 every time I let you back into my bed, 270 00:12:23,305 --> 00:12:26,433 but it would make me hate myself, like, four notches less 271 00:12:26,475 --> 00:12:29,137 if I thought you had one decent bone in your body. 272 00:12:30,813 --> 00:12:32,804 Please don't laugh because I said "bone." 273 00:12:32,848 --> 00:12:37,046 Hey, look, baby, I would love to stay, but I just don't want to. 274 00:12:50,266 --> 00:12:52,200 - Whoo! Good one. - Whoo! Go on, boy. 275 00:12:52,234 --> 00:12:55,101 Please, please, tell me that this is just an intermission, 276 00:12:55,137 --> 00:12:57,435 because I don't want this show to ever end. 277 00:12:57,473 --> 00:12:58,940 Why are you here, Perry? 278 00:12:58,974 --> 00:13:01,670 To laugh, to cry, to cry from laughing, 279 00:13:01,710 --> 00:13:03,837 but mostly to laugh at two desperate guys 280 00:13:03,879 --> 00:13:06,313 on an ice slide to an irrelevant middle age. 281 00:13:06,348 --> 00:13:08,680 Well, not only have we been letting them know... 282 00:13:08,717 --> 00:13:11,117 - Is that the correct expression? - That's it right there, let them know. 283 00:13:11,153 --> 00:13:13,644 Well, we've been letting them know by doing the Cabbage Patch, 284 00:13:13,689 --> 00:13:15,589 the Running Man and the Capoeira. 285 00:13:15,624 --> 00:13:18,149 That's right. That's Brazilian dance-fighting. 286 00:13:18,193 --> 00:13:20,320 - In your face. - Where's the jackass? 287 00:13:21,430 --> 00:13:23,125 Jackass, come. 288 00:13:24,266 --> 00:13:25,392 What up? 289 00:13:25,434 --> 00:13:27,629 Now you are the host of this party, 290 00:13:27,670 --> 00:13:30,070 and to some extent, the voice of your generation. 291 00:13:30,105 --> 00:13:33,074 And while I sadly acknowledge that heralds the coming apocalypse, 292 00:13:33,108 --> 00:13:36,544 I do value your opinion on one thing in particular. 293 00:13:36,578 --> 00:13:38,944 Wow. You're like Shakespeare, yo. 294 00:13:38,981 --> 00:13:41,916 I am. I am like Shakespeare, yo. 295 00:13:41,950 --> 00:13:43,383 Now look around the room real quick 296 00:13:43,419 --> 00:13:46,320 and tell me the five lamest people that you see. 297 00:13:46,355 --> 00:13:47,822 Feel free to start with me. 298 00:13:47,856 --> 00:13:50,290 Cool. One, old. 299 00:13:51,260 --> 00:13:53,455 Two, bald and shiny. 300 00:13:53,796 --> 00:13:55,661 Three, super-old. 301 00:13:56,565 --> 00:13:59,432 Four, checked out my junk at the urinal. 302 00:13:59,468 --> 00:14:02,198 And five, has weird junk. 303 00:14:02,971 --> 00:14:04,165 Number four told me. 304 00:14:04,206 --> 00:14:06,140 - We didn't make the list. - Nope, we didn't. 305 00:14:06,175 --> 00:14:07,870 - You've just been served. - Yeah, and you know what? 306 00:14:07,910 --> 00:14:09,639 We're gonna rub it in your face a little bit 307 00:14:09,678 --> 00:14:11,543 by doing some Brazilian fight-dancing. 308 00:14:11,580 --> 00:14:15,573 - Five, six, seven, eight. - Capoeira. Capoeira. 309 00:14:23,158 --> 00:14:25,217 That was outstanding. 310 00:14:25,694 --> 00:14:28,857 Sometimes reality takes the form of a kick to the head. 311 00:14:28,897 --> 00:14:30,694 Sorry, bros, you just moved up 312 00:14:30,733 --> 00:14:33,133 to the number one and two spots on my lame list. 313 00:14:33,168 --> 00:14:34,658 Well, I think Turk should be number one 314 00:14:34,703 --> 00:14:37,263 because he appears to be bleeding. 315 00:14:37,306 --> 00:14:40,241 Other times it gets right up in your grill. 316 00:14:41,343 --> 00:14:43,709 - Why would you page me? - Paul just wants to be left alone. 317 00:14:43,746 --> 00:14:44,804 Just let us go. 318 00:14:44,847 --> 00:14:46,644 We'll come back in the morning and take another shot at him. 319 00:14:46,682 --> 00:14:49,742 Great, I'll go talk to his liver and tell it to stop failing. 320 00:14:49,785 --> 00:14:51,252 You don't get it, do you? 321 00:14:51,286 --> 00:14:53,311 Patients don't do things on your schedule. 322 00:14:53,355 --> 00:14:56,222 This isn't high school, guys. This is real. 323 00:14:56,859 --> 00:14:59,657 You know what? Do whatever you want. 324 00:14:59,695 --> 00:15:01,754 I don't give a rat's ass. 325 00:15:01,797 --> 00:15:04,630 Just make sure you can live with yourself. 326 00:15:13,504 --> 00:15:15,062 I'm really sorry, C-Bear. 327 00:15:15,106 --> 00:15:18,837 I had no idea my range of motion would be so incredible in these chaps. 328 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,503 That's a lie. I totally knew. 329 00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:23,945 I can't believe I let you sew my eye up after all the soda you had. 330 00:15:23,981 --> 00:15:26,677 This night definitely didn't turn out the way I hoped it would. 331 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,688 - Hey! Hey! Hey! - Hey! Hey! Hey! 332 00:15:31,956 --> 00:15:33,218 Did you have us in the chairs again? 333 00:15:33,257 --> 00:15:35,623 We weren't getting married, Turk. We were becoming men. 334 00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:39,494 Hey, did you guys dress up for the kids in the cancer ward? 335 00:15:39,697 --> 00:15:42,325 - Yes, we... That's what we were... - Yeah. Yes. 336 00:15:42,366 --> 00:15:44,300 Yeah, and then what happened was, 337 00:15:44,335 --> 00:15:46,803 one of the kids hit me in the head with a toy. 338 00:15:46,837 --> 00:15:48,896 Yeah, 'cause he was mad. 339 00:15:49,874 --> 00:15:51,273 'Cause he had the cancer. 340 00:15:51,309 --> 00:15:53,072 Okay. We're just... 341 00:15:53,277 --> 00:15:54,835 Hey. How did the final interviews go? 342 00:15:54,879 --> 00:15:56,278 Not perfect. 343 00:15:56,314 --> 00:15:59,841 But we decided as a group that we can live with ourselves. 344 00:15:59,884 --> 00:16:01,476 Well, I know those things are hard. 345 00:16:01,519 --> 00:16:05,649 Turk and I had to do one last year. We couldn't get the guy to say a word. 346 00:16:05,690 --> 00:16:07,521 We ended up skipping our big steak night 347 00:16:07,558 --> 00:16:09,583 and we just spent hours talking to him. 348 00:16:09,627 --> 00:16:11,891 He had a lot he needed to say before he passed on. 349 00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,897 Yeah, it definitely meant a lot to him. 350 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,092 I gotta say, for me, though, it was probably 351 00:16:16,133 --> 00:16:18,658 one of the most memorable nights I've ever had as a doctor. 352 00:16:18,703 --> 00:16:19,931 Me, too. 353 00:16:23,674 --> 00:16:26,802 We just dropped a knowledge bomb on your asses. 354 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,570 Dr. Turk was right. 355 00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:33,447 A knowledge bomb had been dropped on our asses. 356 00:16:33,484 --> 00:16:35,384 So we decided to take another shot, 357 00:16:35,419 --> 00:16:38,183 even though Paul wasn't gonna talk to any of us. 358 00:16:38,222 --> 00:16:40,315 What up, nerds? 359 00:16:40,358 --> 00:16:45,022 Hey, this Paul dude is awesome. He nailed Marilyn Monroe. 360 00:16:45,062 --> 00:16:47,257 Oh, no. It was actually Marilyn Montrose. 361 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,698 Same diff. Chicks named Marilyn are hot. 362 00:16:49,734 --> 00:16:51,634 I can't believe you came back. 363 00:16:51,669 --> 00:16:53,694 It wasn't my idea. Denise made me. 364 00:16:53,738 --> 00:16:55,672 - How did you get him to talk? - We had a conversation. 365 00:16:55,706 --> 00:16:59,039 All Hot Stuff here did was ask questions off a form. 366 00:16:59,543 --> 00:17:01,807 Are you choosing to smile and ignore the insult 367 00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:04,144 'cause he called you "Hot Stuff"? Attagirl. 368 00:17:04,181 --> 00:17:06,513 Hey, did you know Paulie got a Purple Heart in Korea? 369 00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:08,643 I didn't even know we fought Korea. 370 00:17:08,686 --> 00:17:11,519 So Paul, how'd you get your Purple Heart? 371 00:17:12,556 --> 00:17:14,387 Come on, talk to us. 372 00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,423 Whoops! 373 00:17:18,929 --> 00:17:21,659 That's not my drink. It's good, though. 374 00:17:22,233 --> 00:17:24,497 Methinks it's quitting time. 375 00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:26,666 Good night, Gooch. 376 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:28,699 Ted. 377 00:17:29,707 --> 00:17:31,402 - Ted. - That's it? 378 00:17:31,442 --> 00:17:33,740 I've been your whipping boy for eight years, 379 00:17:33,778 --> 00:17:38,306 and all I get before I disappear forever is a wet, clammy handshake? 380 00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:42,110 And yes, I know that's from my hand, not yours. 381 00:17:42,153 --> 00:17:45,247 And yes, I know that we've never really been friends. 382 00:17:45,289 --> 00:17:49,385 And yes, I know that the Gooch is way too attractive for me. 383 00:17:49,427 --> 00:17:52,919 That's not relevant right now, it's just always on my mind. 384 00:17:52,963 --> 00:17:55,898 - Please don't leave me for a baritone. - I won't. 385 00:17:55,933 --> 00:17:59,528 Ted, I'm so hammered that the only thing I can think about 386 00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:02,539 are those 30-cent hotdogs at the gas station, 387 00:18:02,573 --> 00:18:04,063 so wrap it up. 388 00:18:04,108 --> 00:18:07,908 You owe me more than a handshake. Let's go, honey. 389 00:18:14,185 --> 00:18:16,415 That's not my drink, either. 390 00:18:16,954 --> 00:18:20,287 In war, you have to make the hard choices. 391 00:18:20,324 --> 00:18:24,454 So I shot the man. But I'll never forget his face. 392 00:18:24,995 --> 00:18:27,259 No way. You wasted a dude? 393 00:18:27,298 --> 00:18:28,856 Hey, my buddy killed a guy once. 394 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,163 Backed right over him in a mini-mall. It was crazy. 395 00:18:31,202 --> 00:18:32,567 Yeah, that's the same. 396 00:18:32,603 --> 00:18:34,867 I can't believe you were our age when all that happened. 397 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:38,397 Yeah, you and me both. Some of our guys never made it home. 398 00:18:38,442 --> 00:18:43,106 The rest of us tried to keep in touch. But, you know, life gets in the way. 399 00:18:43,147 --> 00:18:47,743 I haven't seen any of them for years, but I think about them all the time. 400 00:18:48,219 --> 00:18:50,278 You know, when you spend the hardest time in your life 401 00:18:50,321 --> 00:18:53,484 with a group of people, you're bonded forever. 402 00:18:53,524 --> 00:18:54,684 What're you guys still doing here? 403 00:18:54,725 --> 00:18:56,488 All done, none done. Remember? 404 00:18:56,527 --> 00:18:58,154 Wow. That crap worked. 405 00:18:58,195 --> 00:19:01,096 I faculty-advised the hell out of you guys. 406 00:19:01,132 --> 00:19:05,831 I think it dawned on all of us that, in a way, we were war buddies. 407 00:19:07,204 --> 00:19:09,365 And we wouldn't be able to get through med school 408 00:19:09,406 --> 00:19:12,068 if we didn't have each other's backs. 409 00:19:14,478 --> 00:19:17,140 Leave him! Every man for themselves! 410 00:19:18,916 --> 00:19:21,180 Well, it dawned on most of us. 411 00:19:23,387 --> 00:19:26,117 Hey, thanks for making Cole come back. 412 00:19:26,157 --> 00:19:27,647 I didn't make him come back. 413 00:19:27,691 --> 00:19:32,025 I really hate talking to that guy. It adds an extra shower to my day. 414 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,961 I can't believe it's been 12 years since we started medical school. 415 00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:41,437 We're getting old, Kemo Sabe. 416 00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:42,871 Well, thank you, Lord. 417 00:19:42,907 --> 00:19:45,501 Now you do realize you could have saved yourself a lot of embarrassment, 418 00:19:45,543 --> 00:19:47,602 a lot of time and about seven stitches 419 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,704 if you'd just admitted to that a little earlier. 420 00:19:49,747 --> 00:19:51,544 Of course, it wouldn't have been as much fun for me 421 00:19:51,582 --> 00:19:55,279 and I damn sure wouldn't have gotten this terrific screen saver. 422 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:57,253 - He's gonna want a copy of that. - No, I won't. 423 00:19:57,288 --> 00:19:59,153 Hello, Christmas cards. 424 00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:01,454 There's nothing wrong with getting older. 425 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:04,188 So do yourself a favor. Get a prostate exam, 426 00:20:04,228 --> 00:20:07,720 stop wearing ironic T-shirts and just let it happen. 427 00:20:08,899 --> 00:20:12,335 Sometimes we have to embrace the hard truths about ourselves, 428 00:20:12,369 --> 00:20:15,964 whether it's what we really wanna do on a big night out 429 00:20:16,307 --> 00:20:20,641 or realizing that you're never as strong alone as you are together. 430 00:20:20,945 --> 00:20:22,537 I can't believe we found them. 431 00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:24,707 I can't believe they came. 432 00:20:25,249 --> 00:20:26,477 ...three straps!